Eid El Adha just passed, and I look around to realize that much of its tradition has changed so much that it is not recognizable anymore, I see kids hovering around on mini Segways while texting, I don’t know where to start in regards to how strange this picture is, don’t get me wrong, I am not by any means nostalgic or claim to belong to a generation who label this new generation as pampered rotten, but one must admit that we are the last surviving generation of the OLD WAYS.
Whether it was good or bad, that’s beside the point, but during the period of the “old ways” it was a completely different experience growing up, and it is not entirely technology related, attitudes were entirely different, admittedly there was no internet, or video games, no cell phones, back then calling a friend could have meant speaking to most of his family members before they get a hold of him, sometimes hearing an entire argument that was taking place in his house before he actually attended your call, and you could easily loose a friend because his brother decided to screen all his calls to spite him for wearing his shirt.
Whether it was good or bad, that’s beside the point, but during the period of the “old ways” it was a completely different experience growing up, and it is not entirely technology related, attitudes were entirely different, admittedly there was no internet, or video games, no cell phones, back then calling a friend could have meant speaking to most of his family members before they get a hold of him, sometimes hearing an entire argument that was taking place in his house before he actually attended your call, and you could easily loose a friend because his brother decided to screen all his calls to spite him for wearing his shirt.
Everyone drank tap water, and in the summer, water was kept cold in the fridge door contained in whiskey bottles, it was very normal seeing my grandmother serving guests cold water in whiskey bottles. And being conservative or not, the ultimate gift was the 3 liter whiskey bottle filled with olive oil.
Meals were served on a strict timely schedule, not when you got hungry, no one worried about you not eating, they left it up to biology, you would eventually get hungry and eat, and when you did, you had to wait for lunch or dinner, no one got a plate of food before the meal was served, not even if you were sick, no one would follow you with a plate and spoon to feed you while you run around and play, and if you missed that meal, that’s that, you are lucky if there are leftovers, and if there was any, you would have eaten it cold, and it was good. Sandwiches and junk food were only consumed during holidays and birthdays, the rest of the year is homemade food. We never sat at the table when there were feasts, sitting at the table was solely reserved for adults, no one dared or had the audacity to sit at the table, nowadays the adults are lucky if you a get a plate, I have been to houses where the adults ate standing up, who dares to tell the kids to get off the table, it makes me a bit spiteful, because the moment I became an adult, or so I think, the kids became empowered, so our generation lost on both fronts, back in the days, the kids might not even get to eat during such feasts, your parents got busy with the guests, and that was normal, no one held a grudge.
Attending birthday parties was the highlight of the year, not a weekly event, your parents would not take you to buy gifts, no one got gifts or gave gifts, no one expected them, birthdays were a cake and some pastry in some tiny little garden and that’s it, last year, I have attended birthday parties for several oblivious 1 year olds, which looked like some pagan carnival celebrating the son of two gods.
Transportation was something you had to figure out on your own, I clearly remember that girls would take taxis back then as well, and if someone lived a bit further than half a JD worth of cab fare, he/she would become an outcast and lose all social interactions. You wouldn’t dare to ask your parents for a ride anywhere, most houses had one car to begin with, and it was always with the father who was either at work or at home sleeping, and if was a case of hell or high water, it is not a good reason to wake him up, my brother almost lost an eye, as we were waiting for him to wake to go to the hospital, and my father would not leave the house in anything but a suit, so we waited for him to suit up.
The youngest member of the family was the TV remote control, TV had 3 channels, and your father will navigate the antenna on the roof with craziest machine (محول) that sat on a side table of its own, the machine had a circle with the four Cardinal directions on it, it looked like something from the Maya civilization used as a Da Vinci code instrument, and he would steer the antenna to get signals from Syria or Israel, he would do that like a navigation captain, coordinates with specific latitude and altitude, and god help you if you change the position of the antenna, it is like losing the treasure map.
Meals were served on a strict timely schedule, not when you got hungry, no one worried about you not eating, they left it up to biology, you would eventually get hungry and eat, and when you did, you had to wait for lunch or dinner, no one got a plate of food before the meal was served, not even if you were sick, no one would follow you with a plate and spoon to feed you while you run around and play, and if you missed that meal, that’s that, you are lucky if there are leftovers, and if there was any, you would have eaten it cold, and it was good. Sandwiches and junk food were only consumed during holidays and birthdays, the rest of the year is homemade food. We never sat at the table when there were feasts, sitting at the table was solely reserved for adults, no one dared or had the audacity to sit at the table, nowadays the adults are lucky if you a get a plate, I have been to houses where the adults ate standing up, who dares to tell the kids to get off the table, it makes me a bit spiteful, because the moment I became an adult, or so I think, the kids became empowered, so our generation lost on both fronts, back in the days, the kids might not even get to eat during such feasts, your parents got busy with the guests, and that was normal, no one held a grudge.
Attending birthday parties was the highlight of the year, not a weekly event, your parents would not take you to buy gifts, no one got gifts or gave gifts, no one expected them, birthdays were a cake and some pastry in some tiny little garden and that’s it, last year, I have attended birthday parties for several oblivious 1 year olds, which looked like some pagan carnival celebrating the son of two gods.
Transportation was something you had to figure out on your own, I clearly remember that girls would take taxis back then as well, and if someone lived a bit further than half a JD worth of cab fare, he/she would become an outcast and lose all social interactions. You wouldn’t dare to ask your parents for a ride anywhere, most houses had one car to begin with, and it was always with the father who was either at work or at home sleeping, and if was a case of hell or high water, it is not a good reason to wake him up, my brother almost lost an eye, as we were waiting for him to wake to go to the hospital, and my father would not leave the house in anything but a suit, so we waited for him to suit up.
The youngest member of the family was the TV remote control, TV had 3 channels, and your father will navigate the antenna on the roof with craziest machine (محول) that sat on a side table of its own, the machine had a circle with the four Cardinal directions on it, it looked like something from the Maya civilization used as a Da Vinci code instrument, and he would steer the antenna to get signals from Syria or Israel, he would do that like a navigation captain, coordinates with specific latitude and altitude, and god help you if you change the position of the antenna, it is like losing the treasure map.
When winter came, the winter clothes came down, all houses had an attic on top of one toilet, getting in and out of this storage room required serious Olympic acrobatic skills. It was used for storing things that you will never actually use, there was no yearly or seasonal shopping for fashion, you will only get new things in 3 scenarios, ONE new outfit for Eid, or if the item is completely worn-out, or you grew out of them. And if you look at family albums {which is how people looked at photos, it was actually a get-together event to look at family albums, which were stored in the attic in old suit cases. Waiting for pictures to be developed were exciting times, the one hour development was an out of this world technology} if you look at old albums, you will see several generations wearing the same clothes, it is some creepy moment from the Shining, however it was customary to hand down clothes to the youngest, nothing was thrown away.
They would call you to take a bath because they heated the water, if you miss that window, it was very normal to shower in cold water, and the crazy part is that you wouldn’t complain, you actually curse at yourself while shivering in the shower for missing the hot water episode.
Gathering around a street lamppost was like gathering around fire, and that meant we stayed out after sunset, as long as you were in the sound proximity to hear your name being screamed out summoning you back home, and you scream back to insure that you are alive.
No one would ever put you to sleep, sleeping came naturally, because you were exhausted chasing lizards, do you know what kind of energy and skills you need to possess to catch one of these slippery buggers! you would literally pass out like a drunk anywhere, and if you cannot sleep or had a nightmares, going to your parents room was never an option, it was actually scarier to go them anyway, that might be the nightmare that woke you up from the get go, and when you wake you thank god that it was a dream.
Even the school principal would not call your father to complain about you, because he knows that if he does, he had handed you the death sentence, and most school offences did not require such severe penalty. School would never call the family or interact with them for every little whim, only for sever problems, and your parents would never take your side, or argue with the teachers, they were all on the same team. No one knew if you had homework or not, whether you did the homework or not, no one helped you study, no one ran after you to study for exams. It was only the report card day that will reveal everything, and that was the judgment day that even the most clueless thugs were petrified from.
Watching a movie was a very big event, friends and family would get together if a good copy of VHS is available (do you remember Betamax); watching a movie more than once was normal entertainment. You can make new friends solely based on the fact they had access to movies or music tapes, listening to music was an activity on its own, Music was FM that’s it, and making someone a mixed tape was the ultimate form of personal compassion, who is giving away mixed USBs now? And it’s much easier to do so now!
I started all this reminiscing because it is Eid season. Eid was a very emotional time for me, I still remember my first, my father and uncles had brought home a sheep, and they tied it to a tree in the back of my grandmother’s house, we all lived in the same building, and to make sure that the sheep was properly fed, my father told me that this sheep was my pet, and I had to feed it and look after it all the time, I completely fell in love with him, I called him Tahboub, because he looked like a boy from primary school whose family name was Tahboub, some of you might know a Tahboub or two, and NO, they don’t all look like sheep, just that kid, so no offense here.
Tahboub was not very responsive as a pet. Being influenced by American movies, where pet dogs performed all sorts of tricks and instructions, I was convinced that the universal animal language was English, so I would command Tahboub to sit, walk, rollover, shake hand, but of course to no avail, so imagine this kid riding a sheep in the street commanding it in English: “run Tahboub run”, while it just stood there chewing on the neighbor’s bushes, which was a big offence to the neighbor by the way {I will get back to this topic}.
A bond was formed between Tahboub and I, whether you believe it or not, feeding an animal will bring about such a bond no doubt, I used to sneak him into several neighbor’s gardens, he ate all sorts of greenery, flowers and roses were his favorite, he became the ultimate enemy of the neighborhood.
I woke up one morning, and I had no idea why my mom insisted I wear new clothes, because I was obsessed with two outfits only, so here I am dressed in new clothes on the first day of Eid, all of my cousins are gathered with my uncles around Tahboub, I walk up to Thahoub to caress and feed him as I did all the time, my uncle says to me “ you have really taken good care of him, he has gotten really fat” Tahboub and I were completely oblivious to how dark and bizarre this compliment was, the same complimenting uncle grabed Thahoub by his legs, flipped him over to his side, put his knee on his head, and with a concealed knife slit Tahboub’s throat, who kicked and twirled in agony while blood gushed out of his neck, during which, all my cousins were cheering and clapping like we were in an arena with a matador killing a bull, I attacked my murdering uncle who was fending me off with the knife to scare me away, because he feared for my safety from the raging dying sheep.
The most disturbing part was the efficiency in the utilization of Tahboub’s organs, nothing goes to waste, even his gallbladder was dismembered to cure my very HAIRY cousin; it is believed that the bile will make her less hairy and therefore more desirable for marriage. At this very early stage of the massacre, the entire upper digestive system along with the lungs, heart and liver were already cooking on the stove for breakfast, way before Tahboub’s blood was properly drained, as he was still hanging upside-down on the same lemon tree where we first met, my uncle was really enjoying the process of skinning my pet, whistling and signing, while the aromas of Tahboub’s cooked insides combined with the onions, garlic and herbs, filled our nostrils, the hungry crowd started drooling, some of which literally salivating, I never took proper notice to what my uncle really did for a living, but now I know that butchery was his hobby, how does one put such an extra curriculum activity on his CV? This is definitely a new generation problem, where does one acquire such skills? I am pretty sure he did not go to culinary school!
Dealing with issues back then was completely different, for instance, I have drowned three times before I reached the age of 5, I might add that we did not have a pool, strangers will jump in and save me, therefore I had developed a severe fear of water, to the point where I hated to bathe, my father decided that this fear must be faced head on, so he put floaters on my arms and threw me in the middle of the pool, he did not allow me to come out of the pool until I swam the entire length of the pool back and forth. Naturally, I developed an attachment to the floaters; they became my security blanket, so I would wear them everywhere I go, on top of my clothes.
Posture and the way one walks and carries him/herself is an obsession for Middle-Easterners, my Sister walked in cross-feet way, this was viewed as a sign of idiocy and feebleness, in order to rectify this, my aunt who happens to be Algerian, therefore speaks French ( Back in the days anyone who speaks languages is instantly labeled as an intellectual and knowledgeable) and of course she has no previous experience in podiatry or any university education for that matter, she suggested that in order to correct this, my sister must wear her left shoe on the right foot and the right shoe on the left, and this will inverse angles of her feet rectifying the bad habit.
A bond was formed between Tahboub and I, whether you believe it or not, feeding an animal will bring about such a bond no doubt, I used to sneak him into several neighbor’s gardens, he ate all sorts of greenery, flowers and roses were his favorite, he became the ultimate enemy of the neighborhood.
I woke up one morning, and I had no idea why my mom insisted I wear new clothes, because I was obsessed with two outfits only, so here I am dressed in new clothes on the first day of Eid, all of my cousins are gathered with my uncles around Tahboub, I walk up to Thahoub to caress and feed him as I did all the time, my uncle says to me “ you have really taken good care of him, he has gotten really fat” Tahboub and I were completely oblivious to how dark and bizarre this compliment was, the same complimenting uncle grabed Thahoub by his legs, flipped him over to his side, put his knee on his head, and with a concealed knife slit Tahboub’s throat, who kicked and twirled in agony while blood gushed out of his neck, during which, all my cousins were cheering and clapping like we were in an arena with a matador killing a bull, I attacked my murdering uncle who was fending me off with the knife to scare me away, because he feared for my safety from the raging dying sheep.
The most disturbing part was the efficiency in the utilization of Tahboub’s organs, nothing goes to waste, even his gallbladder was dismembered to cure my very HAIRY cousin; it is believed that the bile will make her less hairy and therefore more desirable for marriage. At this very early stage of the massacre, the entire upper digestive system along with the lungs, heart and liver were already cooking on the stove for breakfast, way before Tahboub’s blood was properly drained, as he was still hanging upside-down on the same lemon tree where we first met, my uncle was really enjoying the process of skinning my pet, whistling and signing, while the aromas of Tahboub’s cooked insides combined with the onions, garlic and herbs, filled our nostrils, the hungry crowd started drooling, some of which literally salivating, I never took proper notice to what my uncle really did for a living, but now I know that butchery was his hobby, how does one put such an extra curriculum activity on his CV? This is definitely a new generation problem, where does one acquire such skills? I am pretty sure he did not go to culinary school!
Dealing with issues back then was completely different, for instance, I have drowned three times before I reached the age of 5, I might add that we did not have a pool, strangers will jump in and save me, therefore I had developed a severe fear of water, to the point where I hated to bathe, my father decided that this fear must be faced head on, so he put floaters on my arms and threw me in the middle of the pool, he did not allow me to come out of the pool until I swam the entire length of the pool back and forth. Naturally, I developed an attachment to the floaters; they became my security blanket, so I would wear them everywhere I go, on top of my clothes.
Posture and the way one walks and carries him/herself is an obsession for Middle-Easterners, my Sister walked in cross-feet way, this was viewed as a sign of idiocy and feebleness, in order to rectify this, my aunt who happens to be Algerian, therefore speaks French ( Back in the days anyone who speaks languages is instantly labeled as an intellectual and knowledgeable) and of course she has no previous experience in podiatry or any university education for that matter, she suggested that in order to correct this, my sister must wear her left shoe on the right foot and the right shoe on the left, and this will inverse angles of her feet rectifying the bad habit.
To add insult to injury my brother had a syndrome called Tonsurephobia - Fear of haircuts. Which is a well-recognized phobia, he was convinced that cutting the hair must be painful, he would throw psychotic tantrums when they wanted to groom him, my father decided to face this fear once more and put a stop to this nonsense, so he shaved the entire front hair of his scalp to demonstrate to him that hair has no nerve endings.
Now imaging this, us coming to your house for dinner, an inverse Mohican hairdo, another wearing floater on top of his pullover and a girl with shoes on the wrong feet.
These were the kids of the 80s.
Now imaging this, us coming to your house for dinner, an inverse Mohican hairdo, another wearing floater on top of his pullover and a girl with shoes on the wrong feet.
These were the kids of the 80s.
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